EVER WONDER

Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?

Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?

Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery "?

Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?

Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?

Why is it that to stop Windows 98, you have to click on "Start"?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid is made with real lemons?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

Eternal Truths

1.  Once over the hill, you pick up speed.

2.  I love cooking with wine. Sometimes I even put it in the food.

3.  If it weren't for STRESS I'd have no energy at all.

4.  Whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.

5.  Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.

6.  Dogs have owners. Cats have staff.

7.  If the shoe fits......buy it in every color.

8.  If you're too open minded, your brains will fall out.

9.  Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

10.  If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.

11.  Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.

12.  Some days are a total waste of makeup.

13.  Men are from Earth. Women are from Earth. Deal with it.

14.  A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.

15.  Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.

16.  Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.

17.  Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three week before you need it.

18.  Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.

19.  By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.

O'Neil Marketing & Consulting and Numa Communications Ltd.

#409-100 South Park Royal, West Vancouver, BC  V7T 1A2     Tel (604) 913-1905     Fax (604) 913-1906    Email:  info@designingnations.com

Last revised: June 2, 2008